Quick Update...

Just a quick update. My computer is down right now :o( Hoping to have it back tomorrow with all my pictures and music intact. sigh. (using husband's laptop right now). The most exciting news I have though is that I sent off all of my completed documents to my agency today! I'm going to use their courier service and have them send it to the Embassy and the US State Department to have those certifications done. Think my understanding is that everything should be ready to head to China by Friday of next week! WOO HOO!! Be praying that everything goes as planned. Blessings!

I-171H Came today!!

Yes!! It finally came today!! Had to wait 4 months for it. Trusting in the Lord's perfect timing. He so has a plan and I can't wait to see who He has planned for us! :o)

Praying we can be DTC (Dossier...allllllll our documents...sent To China) by Christmas....is that possible do you think??

Karleigh Mei's 1st Dress and A Pretty Girl w/ Flowers

We couldn't resist! We had to get Karleigh Mei this dress. We thought that it could be worn either in the summer time (as it is a pretty floral print) or winter (because it has long sleeves--can't you just imagine little white tights under this!?..sweet!).


Karleigh Mei's 1st Dress~~

Lexie with Birthday flowers her Daddy got for her~~

Can't WAIT 'till the mail comes today!!!!!

APPROVED!!

I emailed the USCIS (we've become email buddies these last four months...) and this is the reply that I got today:

Your case is approved as of 11/17/2007

WOO HOO!!!

My guess is my I-171H should be in the mail tomorrow!!! :o) Stay posted....

Alexandra's 15th Birthday!

Happy Birthday Lexie!!

I love you and I am so proud of you! My how the time has flown...from a sweet, curly-headed, beautiful child, you are becoming an amazing, wonderful, 5'10" beauty! You are a joy and a blessing and I thank God for giving you to me! Let's CELEBRATE YOU! :o)


BEAUTIFUL LEXIE

SILLY LEXIE


WITH BIG SISTER KATIE


LEXIE HAS ALWAYS LOVED BABIES!! HER 3RD B-DAY SHE HAD A BABY SHOWER FOR HER BABIES!


FUN IN THE TUB!

Blog Makeover!

I had a "blog makeover" by Danielle. I love it! It makes me happy when I look at it! Thank you so much Danielle! You ROCK! I also added some music (thanks to my wonderful husband, Karl--thank you Love) that cheers me up. Even though ANOTHER week has gone by and NO I-171H...(weep!)...I still have SO much to be thankful for!! I pray that everyone is having a super blessed weekend!

My Katie's Post Today...

My Katie has written a wonderful post today. Go and check it out at www.jie2mei.blogspot.com (or click on "Katie's Blog" on right-hand side column. Praying that "you-know-what" comes today!

In the Meantime...

I'm still waiting on my I-171 (it's been almost 4 months now!! sigh). I think when i do get it I'm going to have it framed!! I know I must look like a crazy woman going to my mailbox several times during the day. My mom told me though, that our little Karleigh Mei is counting on these holdups. The timing has to be just perfect for HER to become a part of our family---God is so in control of TIME. I really am trusting in Him...I'm just being an impatient child. Ready to have everything sent off. If I think about it for too long I want to cry...so I just don't think about it. sigh.


Below is a picture of my super sweet Garrison. Is he not a doll? His heart is golden as well. This picture was taken on Sunday night at his football end of season party. So proud of that trophy!



Below is an impulse buy. But isn't it too cute? My little ladybug to remind me that the Lord is in control of EVERYTHING!

My Week....

I have been waiting to post...hoping that any day my I-171 will arrive. It hasn't yet, but I'm always so hopeful when I take a peek in my mailbox. sigh. I've been watching (running after, cleaning up, feeding, loving on, being loved on, playing with!) my sister's 16 month old twins, Dawson and Grayson, this week. I'm having no trouble falling asleep at night! Lots of work those boys are...but oh so worth it! Here are some pics of them. The first one they are in what I call their "Lazy Babies". :o)

Praise Report!

Yesterday I got a "Weekly Encouragement" email from my agency. In these emails I get wonderful verses (that I just KNOW the Lord had in mind for me alone!) and I also get a "tip of the week". I have gotten to where I just read the Bible verses and not the "tip of the week"---'cause you know...I know all. :o) sigh. Anyway....the Holy Spirit led me to read this week's tip which said:

"be sure that the notary's commission expiration date will be valid until the documents have been certified on all of the following levels: county (if applicable), the Secretary of State, and the Chinese Consulate or Embassy."

Hmm...went to check my documents that have been so patiently waiting on my I-171H to arrive...and low and behold I have one document that the notary commission expires on Nov. 13, 2007. Now you are asking why is this a "Praise Report"? It's a praise, because I can have this redone and RE-state certified with my copy of my I-171H! And...no time will be wasted by sending it to my agency only for them to have to tell me that it needs to be redone and re-state certified! Thank you Jesus for bringing this to my attention! :o)

Isn't God so good!? :o)

Preparing for Adoption

I found this wonderful article on a fellow blogger's blog. :o) I'm posting it on mine 1) because I believe the Lord might direct someone to my page to read this article (like He did for me!) 2) so that I can have it and read it again. :o)

Below is a letter from Amy Eldridge, from Love Without Boundaries,
addressing recent adoption disruptions and parental preparedness.

(If you are reading this, think about posting it on your adoption site ~
a waiting parent who reads your blog may benefit from it.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have been so saddened by this situation. I most definitely wish there was a way to educate ALL adoptive parents about the truths of institutional care, however I have come to realize in my daily work that there are just as many parents who are not online reading everything they can find on adoption as are.There are hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of parents out there who have no idea what life is like for a child in an orphanage, and who head overseas to pick up their "China doll" only to be handed a baby who is unresponsive, thin, unable to eat..and on and on and on.

While adopting my son last month, I walked several times over to the White Swan to talk to parents, and over and over I spoke with moms and dads who had no clue whatsoever about the issues their kids were having. I heard so many times things like, "she won't eat solid foods" (oral aversion), "she has no muscle tone" (muscle atrophy from lying in a crib all day), "she won't smile" (pure grieving from being taken from her foster mom).

I guess since I live China 24/7, I assume everyone adopting does, too, which is not the case. I talked to at least a dozen parents who didn't even know their child's orphanage name, and while I gently said "you might want to memorize that for your child's sake", at the same time I was trying to process how many parents get all the way to China without ever reading about post-institutional issues. It was sobering to me. Babies in the NSN (non special needs) as well as the SN (special needs) path can have issues with attachment, motor skills, emotional issues and more. I think all of us on the WCC (Waiting Children China) list acknowledge that, while also acknowledging that all children (whether bio or not) can have these same issues. Living in an orphanage of course increases the odds. I think the easy out is to say that agencies have to do more, as well as social workers, but I do think that most of them do try to give information to the parents but often parents don't want to hear it or else think it won't happen to them.

Again, I am often surprised to talk to parents leaving soon and to realize they are not prepared. One family was adopting from our foster care program, and when I told them that the child was DEEPLY attached to the mom, the father said, "guess she might cry for an hour or so then?" An hour or so? She had been in foster care for over a year! I tried to explain that this little girl was about ready to lose everything she had ever known, and that they should not expect her to be sunny, happy, and full of personality after an hour. I told them to please remember the 72 hour rule.......that after 72 hours they would probably see her spark, but that she would probably grieve for a long time after that as well. I think for many adoptive parents, they just don't want to read the "bad stuff", and so I do think that ultimately it is the parents who are at fault for not doing more to educate themselves. There certainly are books galore out there about post-institutional issues. I equate this to when I was pregnant with my kids and I would read "What to Expect When Expecting", and I would get to the C-section part and always skip it. Each and every time I would jump to the next chapter as "that wasn't going to happen to me". Well, on my fifth baby, when they were rushing me in for an emergency C section, I sure was wishing I had read that section earlier! But at that point in the OR, while they were strapping my hands down to the table, it was too late, and so I felt complete panic when I could have been prepared.

I think adoption from China is very similar to giving birth...it is much more rosy to only read the happy stories on APC, but I now encourage every family I meet to read the harder ones as well, because if you are the family who is handed a child that is limp and listless and who looks autistic, what you have learned in the past will help you make the right decision for your family during those very emotional first few days.

I have been called many times in the last few years by parents in China worried about their children. I agree that having a support network to help you through the initial time is essential. Everyone should go to China with at least one phone number of someone they can call if they are panicked upon meeting their new child. I remember feeling so alone when I was handed my daughter and she was so tiny and limp. Because our foundation often helps with the kids who have been disrupted, I am aware that sometimes there are children who have much more serious issues than originally reported..and that is such a hard thing for a parent to get to China and then discover their child is truly autistic or has serious mental delays. I think everyone on both the China and international side would agree that it is absolutely wrong of an orphanage to not be honest in their reports, and no one would excuse that, but I also know without a doubt that the majority of kids who are disrupted are just suffering from institutional issues and would catch up quickly in a loving home. It is always a very sad day for the orphanage and everyone involved when a child that they know is absolutely fine, but perhaps thin and grieving, is returned by their new parents for being "delayed".

I think far too many people believe their child's life is going to begin the moment they meet them. The truth is, and everyone must realize it..a child's life is going on RIGHT NOW in China, and all of their experiences are shaping who they are. The vast majority of aunties that I have met in China are such kind and caring people, but it absolutely is not the same as having a mom and dad at your beck and call. I have had new parents call and say "we didn't think living in an orphanage would affect her at all", and those statements truly puzzle me. How could they not contemplate life in an orphanage? Walk through Babies R Us and you will see every gadget known to man to make our children's lives here as ideal as possible. Now Americans have two way video monitors, so that when baby awakens not only can mommy see when to immediately rush in and comfort him, but she can talk to baby so that he doesn't even have one single second where he feels alone. How many new parents would have a newborn and then put that baby in a crib 22 hours a day on their own? How many would only feed their baby, even if they were really crying hard, every 8 hours? Or prop the bottle in her crib and then not watch to see if she ever really ate? Of course no one would do that..we feed newborns on demand, comfort on demand, love continuously..and whether people want to recognize it or not, that is NOT the life of an orphan in an institution. ...even when the aunties are as good as gold.

I remember one night when I took some volunteers in for the night shift in an orphanage, when normally just a few aunties are working. One mom looked at me with tears in her eyes as she slowly realized that it was absolutely impossible with just two hands to feed every child, to comfort every child, to soothe every baby who was crying. She said her heart was aching to realize that her own daughter most likely had many, many times where she cried without someone to comfort her.....and she told me that for the first time she finally understood why her daughter had such a deep seated fear of being out of her mom's sight. The aunties are trying their absolute best, but that doesn't equal mother/child care.

I remember being in an orphanage in the north this past winter and the aunties were so proud of how they had 6-8 layers of clothes and blankets on every baby to keep them warm. They were swaddled so tight that they couldn't move, but it was freezing in the orphanage and so the aunties wanted the babies to stay as warm aspossible. What alternative did they have? It really was freezing there..I was cold in my wool coat, so the babies couldn't be up and about with just 1-2 layers on, with the ability to move their arms and legs. To stay warm they had to be immobile, and so of course all of those kids have weak muscle tone. But the aunties were truly trying their best, and when a parent is given one of those beautiful children on adoption day, I am sure they will go back to their room with concern and say "she can't sit up by herself..she can't put weight on her legs". That is absolutely the truth, but she also survived 10 degree weather in a very cold province and she will catch up soon enough with parents to encourage her.

To not acknowledge that living in orphanage circumstances can cause lower body weights, low muscle tone, inability to make good eye contact is very sad to me. Can it be overcome? Most definitely! The one thing I have learned over and over again about the kids in China is that they are fighters and survivors. But for some reason, people seem to want to ignore these issues in public forums. Recently, one of our medical babies that we had met several times in person was adopted, and we all knew that this child was a "spitfire". When the family arrived and spent a few days with her, they decided she was too much of a handful for them and they wanted to disrupt. She absolutely was not what they expected. When they called their agency, they were told they had two choices: adopt the child, bringher to the US, and change their expectations of what they were hoping for, or adopt the child, bring her to the US and the agency would have a family waiting at the airport to adopt her locally. Option three of leaving the child in China was never once given. I admire that agency so much, as they were thinking of the child and the child alone. The family followed through with the adoption and handed the little girl to a new family upon her arrival in the US. As horrible and tragic and emotional as it was for everyone involved...I still feel this was the right decision for the agency to make. It was done in the absolute best interest of the child, who had waited a long, long time for a family. I wish more agencies would advocate for the rights of the child, instead of always seeming to give in to the parents, especially in those cases when they know with absolute certainty that nothing is permanently wrong with the child. Recently with another disruption, the agency I spoke with told me that it was "easier" to just get the family a new baby. Sometimes easier does not equal right. The first baby who was rejected has now been labelled "mentally challenged" even though the agency knew the child was really going to be okay.

I think all of us, who do realize that delays occur and that babies can usually overcome them, should be these children's advocates by continually trying to educate new parents on what to expect in China. By helping them be better prepared, we just might help stop a disruption in the future. I love Chinese adoption with my whole heart, and it is my life's work..but I also want every family who goes to get their baby to go with their eyes open and to be as emotionally prepared as possible, for the child's sake.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Amy Eldridge, Love Without Boundaries

Addendum Arrived

The addendum to our home study arrived yesterday (November 2nd). It is being mailed to USCIS today. The office is here in town, so there SHOULD be a quick turnaround. NO reason why my I-171H shouldn't arrive next week...right??

Still being still before the Lord.