Our Littlest Ballerina...

We are on day 85 of our 90 day wait before we can submit adoption paperwork. 

We all feel like dancing!

Blogging for Books-- "Lilies in Moonlight"

I have just finished reading "Lillies in Moonlight" by Allison Pittman. This book was set in the 1920's. The main characther, Lilly Margolis, is a young adult searching for the love that was never given to her by her mother. Through a series of events, she finds herself in the home of wealthy and sweet Betty Ruth, who suffers with dementia and her son, Cullen, who suffers from both physical and emotional scars from his past. The three form a bond and healing is just around the corner! "Lilies in Moonlight" is the 2nd Allison Pittman book I've read. I really enjoy the way Allison writes. Her books are easy to read, I enjoy her characters, and I really love how she brings in the gospel! 

A sweet read I would recommend to anyone!

Thank you to WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for sending this book to me, free of charge, for this review!

Incessant Question Asking...And my girl :)

Do you see this girl? This beautiful, blessing of a girl? I'm so utterly in love with her! When I really just sit and think on how much I love her, my eyes start to well up and a huge lump forms in my throat. I love her! And I thank God for allowing me to be her mama. {weep}

Besides being absolutely adorable, she's got a heart of gold. Pure gold. Her most favorite things are her friends. She adores her friends! And she's a good friend herself. She knows what is kind and what is fair. Once you are a friend of Karleigh Mei's, she'll be your friend for life! 

I also love her zest for life! She's not afraid to tackle anything! Everything is an adventure she's willing to pursue. She'll try anything new. And if she doesn't like it, she's not afraid to tell you. :)

She's also very appreciative of things. If you give her something or do something for her, she's quick to thank you. And most certainly you'll get a squeezy hug and maybe even a kiss! 

Karleigh Mei is a gem of a treasure. There really are very few like her. I simply cannot wait to watch her become the young woman that God has planned for her to be!

BUT. 

There are some days that I really think she will send me to the looney bin. It's true. And I'm thinking Karl and everyone else in the house is not far behind. 

WHY?

Because our girl asks questions and questions and QUESTIONS all. the. time. Not just some of the time. I'm talking all. the. time. 

I know many of you are thinking, "good gracious, Jenn, she's a 5 year old girl? It's normal and good for her to ask questions!". 

Oh, believe me. I'm all for a good question. But my darling girl can't seem to stop asking questions. Many of them questions she knows the answer to. 

And she asks everyone questions. EVERYONE. Believe me. E-V-E-R-Y O-N-E. 

Soooooooooooo. What to do? 

I'm beginning to believe that she has a very mild case of RAD (reactive attachment disorder). If you look it up, incessant question asking is a symptom. It's a way for them to keep control. And I've figured out what I think {hope and pray!} is what she needs. 

I've tried and tried and tried looking for information on WHAT TO DO, but cannot find anything. 

So, I believe what she needs is some baby-time. Kind of like holding time, but what I think she needs is time to be my baby. She WANTS to be my baby. She LONGS to be my baby. And so the other day I tested out holding her like a baby to see her reaction. And oh-my-goodness!  She melted in my arms!! We had a LOT of good eye contact as I held her in my arms and snuggled with her. She cooed and I talked to her like a baby. She even asked for a bottle. When she first came home (even at the age of 3) I gave her a bottle. But now I'm thinking (and hoping and praying) that we didn't do it way often enough. And so I'm going to try that again too. 

I'm going to give it a try and after a while I'll report back. And until then, if anyone else has read or heard what to do about incessant question asking, PLEASE TELL ME!! :)

Lexie's Esther

Sometimes I am just so terribly humbled at how the Lord uses us. But when He uses our own kids...it just fills my heart in such a way I can't describe. I think it's a Heavenly emotion. 


Without trying to explain more, this post is straight from Lexie's blog. Please read it and if YOU are Esther's mama or daddy, please contact her and she'll get you directed to the right person!


i carry you in my heart.

when somebody comes home from a mission trip you often hear them speak of, "my kids"--the kids at the orphanages, or other various ministries that he/she falls in love with. 


when i first heard people say this i would think very judgmentally, "how can she call it 'her kid'. she wasn't even with 'her kid' for but a few days...maybe weeks!" 


after my mission trip in '09 i refrained from using that phrase. yes, there were children that i had fallen in love with, children i had connected with. but for some reason i thought it silly to speak such strong words..."my kids." 


after my last trip to Uganda [about a month and a half ago], i had a moment of realization...an "ahh ha!" moment if you will... 


if these people coming home from mission trips do not speak about these children...do not say, "my kiddo did this!", "my little guy accepted christ!!" "heres a picture of me and my girl!"
....who will? who will acknowledge her and speak so proudly of her?? who will remember him for a life time?? 


which brings me to....my esther :) 


if you've been following my blog(s) for awhile you've probably heard me talk about esther. i first met her in '09. and wrote about her here. 

back in '09 she was a very sick little girl. i'll never forget the way all of her little ribs felt as i ran my fingers down her chest. she couldn't have weighed more than 12 lbs [at approx 2 years old]. she was tiny.


for the past two years i have thought about her, told others about her, and googled "adopting esther from [name of her orphanage]" in hopes that i'd find the blog of a family adopting her. i dreamed of stumbling upon a blog of a very sweet looking family and finding that they were adopting this sweet girl. i wanted nothing more than for her to have a family. there were rumors that she might be adopted. but i never heard anything more. 


i'll never forget that big, beautiful smile. and those eyes that spoke, love me! 

as my second trip to uganda approached i asked around, "is esther still at [her orphanage]?? she was a small malnourished baby, she had a smile that lit up the room, etc." 


each time people would tell me, "well, there is a baby there named esther. but she doesn't fit that description." 


fast forward to the first day back in uganda. we ran down to the baby home that night and i asked around for esther. her face was etched onto my heart and i just knew that if i could see the face of this esther i would know right away if she was the esther. if i could just see her smile then i would know. 


i was pointed in the direction of the only esther at that baby home. except, she was hardly a baby. she was the biggest child there at that orphanage! as i walked up closer to her i knew. she was the esther i had been praying and dreaming of for two years. she had the same nose, the same big eyes, the same ears, the same hairline even... just to be sure i asked a mama, "is this the only esther y'all have had here? i was here two years ago and she was very sick and TINY...??" she raised her eyebrows and said, "yes...thats her!" 


but there was something wrong. as i reached down to tickle her little toes she kicked at me and grunted. i tried to sooth her by gently touching her forhead...and she more adamantly pushed me away. i tried to make her giggle...so i could see that smile...and she would hardly look me in the eye. 


my heart broke for this precious child. she had so much potential when i met her in '09. she still had a sparkle in her eyes. and now, due to abuse, malnutrition and years in an orphanage, there was hardly any human emotion coming out of her. she was just a shell of the esther that i remembered. 


we tried to go down to the baby home every morning and evening. each time i scooped esther up, i would look her in the eyes and search for the esther that i knew was in there. she would push at my face and i'd hold her hands and have her touch my face and say, "gentle...gentle". 


it was around the 3rd day, while laying her down in her crib, that i saw hersmile. the smile that i so clearly remembered. i, of course, scooped her right back up and hugged her and kissed her all over. she in return gave her famous "esther hugs". the hug that just about chokes you and knocks you over at the same time :) 


in the short two weeks that i was there, i witnessed her have two seizures. fear took my breath away the first time that i saw her sprawled out, naked on the concrete with a dazed look in her eyes. she had slipped and fell during bath time, triggering a seizure. my sweet girl is so so sick. 


our time together went by all too fast but was oh so sweet. i am forever grateful to God for allowing me time with this precious treasure again. and one things i am so certain of is this....


i will forever carry esther in my heart. because if i don't...who will? 

[me and esther this year. just a few weeks ago.]

esther, you are treasured. you have a very special place in my heart that is for you and you alone. i will never forget you. i will continue to tell people about you. i love you baby girl, more than you'll ever know. i'm searching for your family, sweet girl. and oh how blessed they will be! 


----
will you do me a favor? wherever you are right now...pray for my girl. in december she will be moved to the "big orphanage" where she will never be able to be adopted. pray that a miracle happens. thank you. 

{Matt Papa} Album Review :)

I have had the unique opportunity to review an album before it's release. How fun! I feel special! :) 

I love music with lyrics that really stir my heart to action. Music that stands with God's Holy Word and comes alive. And music that convicts me of things that I know the Lord is working on in me. It's like hearing that sermon that you just KNOW was meant for you!

And Matt Papa has somehow been able to do this with this album for me. Okay...maybe not ALL of the songs were written for me, but a good portion of them. :)

Here is just a snippet of some of the lyrics from "This Changes Everything" (song title and title of album):

"oh lord have i become a man

too scared to be a child again

too comfortable with amazing grace

too familiar with the empty grave"

I think sometimes a lot of us Christians have become too comfortable with amazing grace and too familiar with Christ rising from the dead. I know I have and these lyrics really hit where it hurts. But hit in just the right place that now I'm aware of it. And plan on changing. 

And some of the songs are really, REALLY catchy! I like a song that I can actually remember the tune to! :)  {and my kids probably appreciate that too! ha!} I think my fave is the song "One Thing". 

Some of the lyrics to "One Thing" are:

"For Erick there was one thing, one thing and nothing more

That moved his growing family to the slums of Bangalore

For Becca there was one thing, one thing that kept her home

She gave up her career to take an orphan in her arms

What would make a man so bold

Make a woman lay her own life down

Only one thing"

Yes! Just a reminder that Jesus IS the ONE and ONLY thing that drives me to do what I do! I mean, some of the things that Jesus calls us to do are cRaZy! But, look at the CRAZY LOVE He showed us! And heck...we are supposed to LOVE LIKE CRAZY just like He did {so sorry...couldn't help myself}! But most importantly, we do these things to bring HIM glory! As the song lyrics continue:

"Jesus Christ, Magnified

All over the world

Lifted High, glorified

All over the world

Only One thing

Is Worth everything

Jesus Christ, Magnified

All over the world" 

I love it!!

One of the songs on this album is "It is Finished". Here is the official video for this song. Love it! 

Be sure to quiet my music on the side first if you want to watch this video!

So when August 2 rolls around, be sure to head on over to iTunes and purchase Matt Papa's latest album and be ready to be changed!

19 more days...

And then I'll know for sure she'll be ours forever and ever!!

Three Years Ago Today!

I can hardly believe that it's ONLY been three years since "we-first-saw-your-face", Karleigh Mei!! I'll never forget that day! We were eagerly anticipating your referral!! 

And the first pictures we saw of you, just melted this mama's heart. I remember thinking you had the cutest little lips I'd ever seen. And it's still true! You still have the cutest little lips!

I just wanted to jump in these pictures and grab you!!

And later, we were blessed with receiving this picture taken THE DAY of your referral! The Lord is so good to delight us in little gifts like this!

Doesn't Everybody Dream...

...of a baby being brought to their doorstep!?


We did...and it happened!!

One year ago today, a tiny, 6 day old, sweet, precious, Gift from God was brought to us!

And we've never been the same. 


Happy One Year "we-saw-your-face-for-the-first-time", sweet Annie baby! We love you!!

{I feel it's important to add, that where we live there are SOOOOO many babies that are in need of emergency foster homes. I know that everyone does dream of "getting" a baby and it's not possible or extremely hard to in so many areas. Praying for all those mamas out there who long for a precious little baby to hold.}

My Biggest Bittiest Girl

Some sweet pics I found of KM on the beach. Photo credit goes to Lexie Lou. :)

Happy 1st Birthday, Annie!!

Little did we know, that last year, on July 3rd, the Lord was preparing to bless our socks off! And it would take a HUGE step of faith on our part to be blessed. I love, love, LOVE how the Lord prepares us, and how He shows us that, yes, He IS guiding us! 

On July 3rd last year, I watched a sermon by David Platt, that totally changed my view on who we were open to taking in our home. I watched the video and just cried and cried, because I knew what the Lord was asking of us. One thing I love about blogging, is that I'll post things that really move me, and then I can go back and look at how the Lord was stirring me on particular days. You can watch the video that moved me so, and because I watched that video, THE DAY SHE WAS BORN, we were open to her. It's a long video, that I HIGHLY recommend you watch the whole thing, but if you don't have enough time, begin watching it at min. 28 and you'll get the point. 

Click on date below to take you: 

July 3, 2010

Are we EVER glad we said, "YES!". 

One year later, we are celebrating her pure sweetness and her 1st birthday!

Enjoying her first cake!

My kind of girl, just pick up the whole thing, cake AND plate!

 Karleigh Mei was so sweet and found a card :) and signed her name and Annie's. (I'm seriously thinking of letting her write her name this way, "Karlie", as it's so much easier! Her official name is Karoline, so it doesn't really matter how we spell Karleigh/Karlie.) 

And because Annie is still too young to really open up her own presents, Karleigh Mei gladly took over!

One more month and we can submit our adoption paperwork for our sweet girl!!