My mind is going a million different directions lately it seems. So much weighing on my heart and mind. I'm trying oh-so-hard to lay it all at my Father's feet. To let Him take the lead in the yoke that we are carrying. I know that this is what I'm supposed to do. Why is it so hard??
For years I knew that the Lord was calling us to be foster parents some day. I always had that nagging fear, that I would fall in love and become attached to the child(ren) the Lord brought to us. How could anyone do that? To fall in love with a child...and then have to give them up?
And then we heard about SO many children in our area needing safe places to live. Many are living in shelters. Children should not have to live in shelters. Especially children who are not with their mom or dad. And so the Lord began working on our hearts even more. Pulling us in. Until we could not deny what He was calling us to do. And so we took the plunge.
And now we have her. The most precious baby. We took her with the hopes that we will be able to adopt her. But we also know that that might not happen. And we have fallen so completely in love with her. My sweet Garrison says every day, "I want to keep her Mama!". All of my kids can't kiss her enough each day! And it has made me realized even more how hard it will be for my family, if she indeed has to leave our home. Oh the tears I have cried!!
But no matter what is to come, I totally and completely trust that the Lord's hands are on us and on her sweet little life. He has a plan for her!!! Of this I am sure!! And even though I know this, I tell the Lord every day, "If it's your will, let us keep her!! I want to keep her Father!".
And now I know how people foster even with the fear that they may become attached. All I have to do is to look at this precious little baby, and it all becomes so very clear.
And we all will love her like she is ours forever.
