My mind is going a million different directions lately it seems. So much weighing on my heart and mind. I'm trying oh-so-hard to lay it all at my Father's feet. To let Him take the lead in the yoke that we are carrying. I know that this is what I'm supposed to do. Why is it so hard??
For years I knew that the Lord was calling us to be foster parents some day. I always had that nagging fear, that I would fall in love and become attached to the child(ren) the Lord brought to us. How could anyone do that? To fall in love with a child...and then have to give them up?
And then we heard about SO many children in our area needing safe places to live. Many are living in shelters. Children should not have to live in shelters. Especially children who are not with their mom or dad. And so the Lord began working on our hearts even more. Pulling us in. Until we could not deny what He was calling us to do. And so we took the plunge.
And now we have her. The most precious baby. We took her with the hopes that we will be able to adopt her. But we also know that that might not happen. And we have fallen so completely in love with her. My sweet Garrison says every day, "I want to keep her Mama!". All of my kids can't kiss her enough each day! And it has made me realized even more how hard it will be for my family, if she indeed has to leave our home. Oh the tears I have cried!!
But no matter what is to come, I totally and completely trust that the Lord's hands are on us and on her sweet little life. He has a plan for her!!! Of this I am sure!! And even though I know this, I tell the Lord every day, "If it's your will, let us keep her!! I want to keep her Father!".
And now I know how people foster even with the fear that they may become attached. All I have to do is to look at this precious little baby, and it all becomes so very clear.
And we all will love her like she is ours forever.
14 Love Like Crazy Comments:
Oh, I am praying that you will be able to keep her, as well!
Oh Jenn I will be praying for you through this time as you make the most of the days or years that you have with this precious gift. I love all the pictures. Such a sweet picture of the little ones here
Bless you my friend. I'm not half the woman you are. May you continue to be found faithful. Love and hugs and prayers~
Kam
Jenn .... I know EXACTLY where you are coming from. We lost our little Hope back to her birth mother and it very nearly killed me. Unfortunately instead of drawing nearer to God during that time I ran in the opposite direction and faced over a year of depression and hating God for taking my little girl away. It took so long to give all of that over to Him and realize He chose me even for just that short little bit of time to love her with everything I had, but that she never really was mine but always HIS. I'll be praying for all of your hearts because it def. isn't an easy thing to do ... but I know that God will bless you all through it in so many ways! PRaying friend!
Oh Jenn!
I am going to pray this for you too! What a precious gift you are giving this little girl and all the other precious children God has blessed you with!
You are a living example of the miracle of Jesus's love for us!
Hugs,
Diana
Beautiful! Your heart is so beautiful and deep--Bless you for the love that you give so freely! There was an incredible piece of artwork in the LWB auction--and your post has brought it to mind again. The artist is a woman by the name of Mary Beaumont-Wishne, the quote on the oil pastel drawing is," A mother is like a mountain stream that nourishes the tree at its root, but one that mothers another's child is likened unto a water that rises into a cloud and goes a long way to nourish a lone tree in the desert."
Thank you for going the distance. I pray that God's Will will join your family to include this blessed child!! (posted April 27, 2010 if you want to see it.)
oh, Jenn,
My heart aches for you and the unknown future of the precious one God has placed in your family. May He give you strength to endure whatever the future holds. Just think of how you're making a difference in her life, for whatever time you are blessed with.Take it one day at a time and don't worry about what tomorrow brings.
Blessings,
Paula
Praying for God's will for your sweet family. I too have prayed about fostering and thought how would I handle it if we couldn't adopt the child. I pray the Lord will fill you with His love and wisdom and strength. His hand is on the precious little one.
I want to be you when I grow up! :-)
We are praying that she will be yours forever, and we trust that the Lord will bless your obedience to love this precious child, even with all the risks. Isn't that what He did for us?
We love you guys!!
I would love to talk to you about this new adventure God has you taking and how He led you on this path. Have you written up anything more about it? I'd love to post it on a new website we are launching soon to support and encourage families interested in adoption and orphan care from a Christian worldview. If you are interested, let me know!
Kelly@wearegraftedin.com
Praying for you and this precious little one. May God pour out His grace and may His perfect plan come about as you seek Him. Thanks for sharing your heart.
God gives grace for the moment, and whatever the future holds for your family and this precious baby, I know He will provide exactly what you need breath by breath. Bless you!
Oh Jenn~
What a deep and touching post! I will be praying right along with you for that very thing. I think it's wonderful that you've made your request known to God and now are leaving it at His feet. Thank you for sharing such a personal journey with us. I could feel every emotion of your heart. What a beautiful photo of her with KM... it touched me to the core. And those little feet in your post today...too precious. How I wish you could share her sweet face. But I'm glad you are enjoying her and showering her with all the love that I know you have to give. Thank you for sharing being the love of Jesus to this precious little one through your amazing family...she is so blessed to be there for such a time as this!
Love and Hugs!!
~ Tanya
Oh I have not been in this place of HAVING and not knowing if I could keep a child of my heart, but I know how much I grieved for a little boy I thought we had lost when we never really had him. But when your Momma's heart is taken, what else can you do but follow and trust Him?
BIG HUGS!!! And no real advice except just keep on loving and trusting. And here's another {{{hug}}}
And you know the rest of our story: God said yes, and he is here asleep, our fourth son. I still pinch myself sometimes when I realize he is here.
Love your heart and I am VERY much paying attention to all you are willing to share here about this journey. ;)
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