There, go I.

Last week, unbeknownst to us, Annie's birthmom showed up to a review hearing, and relinquished her rights. When I heard this, I had a strange set of emotions. Relief was one. Joy another. Hope that Annie will be ours forever the biggest. But I also felt an immense sadness for this woman. I wish I could share more about this broken woman, but I don't feel I have that right, or that it is even really necessary.

What I can say about her, is that she has lived a broken life. I don't know about her early years, but I do know that about the last 20 years she has made unwise choices. 

But haven't I? 

Oh, if you were to see all of my unwise choices, would you even begin to be able to count them?

Some are choices that everyone can see. Many more are hidden.

I don't deserve the life I have. 

Absolutely and totally the ONLY reason I am living the life that I am was because of a decision I made 24 years ago. I realized what a mess I was making of my life. And the only way I could see a hope and a future in my life, was to GIVE my life to my God. The very one who created me. The very one who was pursuing me in a way that I couldn't deny. The very one who loved me more than I could ever imagine. The very one who proved His love for me by sending His son, Jesus, to die for me. The very one who once I made the decision to love Him and accept that He did die for ME, also sent His Spirit to live IN me. 

So you see. It's not my life I'm living. It's God's. And He can still use me even when I make mistakes. Sometimes especially when I make mistakes. Because I always find myself running back to Him.

But. What if all those years ago, I had not turned toward God? What if I had not allowed Him to come and live inside of me? 

Oh. 

There, but for the GRACE of God, go I.  I see myself in Annie's birthmom's shoes.

But you want to know the real kicker!? The most fabulous thing about my God??!! Is that even if I hadn't made that decision all those long years ago, He still would have loved me just the same. 

Exactly the same.

Oh, He loves Annie's birthmom. And He longs for her to come into His embrace. He won't be able to erase all the bad decisions she has made in her past, but He can still give her a hope and a future! But only if she goes to Him.

Please join with me in praying for her! I have a devotional called, "Jesus Lives" by Sarah Young, that I have bought to give to her. And oh my. I get chills at the thought of her opening up anywhere in this book and reading about how MUCH she is loved!

And...no joke...I just opened the book up and this is part of what I read:

Brokenness

"I am the God of divine reversals. I can glean good out of evil: my master plan brings victory out of apparent defeat. Come to me just as you are---wounded from battle---and expose your wounds to My healing Light. "

I love it! 

My prayer is that she will give God her life, and that some day, here on earth, she may be able to show Annie (when she is an adult) her new life in Christ! How awesome would that be!? 

But for now, we are hoping and praying and believing, that by the end of the summer, our Annie girl will be ours forever and ever!

We love her so!