Message from and Unknown Chinese Mother

I have just finished reading a book that has left me changed. I believe that this is a book that all mothers of adopted Chinese children should read. I am so very grateful to Xinran for having the courage to write this book, and for telling the stories of these mothers. It left me wanting more. It left me feeling full and yet empty.

Here is an editorial review:

Heartbreaking, shocking stories of Chinese mothers who have lost or had to abandon children and are still searching.

Message from an Unknown Chinese Mother is a collection of stories from Chinese mothers whose daughters had been wrenched from them, whether as a consequence of the single-child policy, or destructive age-old traditions and hideous economic necessity. Here, too, are the voices of adoptive mothers from different parts of the world.

Some of these women had to give up their daughters for adoption, others were forced to abandon them — on city streets, outside hospitals, orphanages — and others still, in the countryside, even had to watch their baby daughters being taken away at birth and drowned, like kittens. They are stories that Xinran could not bring herself to tell previously — they were too painful and close to home.

These vivid accounts, full of harrowing, tragic detail, yet not without tender and uplifting moments, are true stories from the heart.

This is a book that I will save for Karleigh Mei to read one day. For in it gives a tiny glimpse of what it *might* have been like for her mother. But it also encourages these Chinese daughters to continue on with their lives, to love and to live their lives to their fullest.

I love what Xinran wrote at the end:

"So, dear children, that you are alive and thriving today is because your mother challenged social conventions, oppression and ignorance to give you that gift of life. Valuing your own life now is a way of paying her back; fulfilling yourself is a way of thanking her."

Thank you to Shi Qian's birth mother. Wherever you may be. Thank you for giving our Karleigh Mei Qian Qian the beautiful life that she has. I think of you every day and pray that you know she is happy and living life fully! I will be eternally grateful for you.

I see you in the shine of her hair and the sparkle in her eyes. I feel you in the sweet embrace of her arms and the weight of her sleeping body. I hear you in the delight of her laugh and in the songs that she sings. I smell you in her sweat as she plays and in her breath when she yawns. You will never be forgotten. You can never be forgotten.

I have to mention that this book is not yet published in the US and so may be a bit harder to get. I was able to order it off of Amazon through a private seller though.