Everyone agrees that our girl is beautiful. She's SO beautiful! And the best part is, she is beautiful on the inside too! Her two middle names "Mei" and "Qian" both mean beautiful---so there you go!
As beautiful as she is, it is inevitable that some child will ask, "What's wrong with your/her eye?", as they stare at it like they've never seen anything like it before. We've been trying to think of the best response for her to give, because as much as we'd like to answer this question for her, there will be many times we won't be there. She'll be on her own. The best response we've come up with is, "That's the way God made me!".
We've been practicing with her and having her respond. I would love to hear anybody else's ideas/responses they have given their children as well!
We also have been talking about being different. We are all different, and I want her to realize that we all are. Here is a list of some of our differences that we talk about:
Karleigh Mei:
adopted
born in China
her eye was formed differently
Daddy:
Part Italian
one leg is shorter than the other
born in Texas
Mama:
Part French
born without a hip socket (hip dysplasia)
born in California
And the list with our other children go on, including the fact that Daddy also adopted Katie!
We also talk about being the same. We are all American! We were ALL adopted by God! We are all family! We all love ice cream! And the list goes on!
I love this silly, crooked glasses, sweaty haired girl!
9 Love Like Crazy Comments:
So sweet and yes she is beautiful! Right now, we haven't had to have the talk with Claire yet because she is still learning to listen with her implant but I'm sure the time will come. I agree with telling her that's the way God made me because God does not make mistakes! His creation is perfect!
Hugs,
Robin
I can't wait to hear some others ideas. I have a son with a "little" eye. We also say "that is how God made me" but also just use the clinical term "coloboma" and that is enough info at least for now. Sometimes we call it his "special" eye and sometimes that special eye has special powers (he is in Kindergarten). Whatever works for him works for me.
Amy
I like the way Karleigh Mei did it at the zoo when that little boy said somethin about her eye. She looked at him and walked off. So Sassy that baby girl is. Sometimes you gotta explain sometimes ya gotta preach but sometimes its just none of their business and if they get snubbed by our girls a little maybe they will not think it's their right to ask.Whether we want to our not our kids our gonna get noticed and I choose to not be embarsed by it I choose to be better than they are I know that sounds so bad cause we are all equal in Gods eyes but I'm not God and I need to show my daughter that whats she is about is NOT her differences She is a great kid and God loves her and thats all that matters and if others can't see that they arnt that great and we need to pray for them. Unless you have a kid out of the norm you wont understand. I am not gonna raise some creepy little kid who is embarrsed by how she looks and whines and does the poor me I'm so different. I say So What Your beautiful and Thats that girlfriend. But we will see what happens when she gets older:)
That is exactly what we say.
Our biggest thing now is people saying, "Why can't she talk?"
And yes, I mean people not just kids. "Can she not hear?"
To which I say if it is an adult: "Yes, she can hear just fine." They usually swallow hard and that is that. I don't want to be mean, but I do think adults sometimes really need an education and that is a way to gently educate with a kind tone and an honest answer, but the adult usually has a look that says, "Wow, I just assumed since she won't talk that she can't hear. I shouldn't have asked that question."
As for her responses to children, we aren't around many new ones, but it is hard when we get the "what is wrong with her mouth/nose/face" question and we always answer to children just as you do, "That is the way God made her, and she is very special just like you!"
{{{HUGS}}}
That is THE best--in fact our 4 (almost 5 year old) says that SO sincerely so often when explaining things about himself (like when I ask him why he did something ... that I'm usually not very happy about or acting a certain way!) Oh yes, God has made us all so very special and I'm so glad he reminds me of that. I pray that people will see Karleigh for all of her beauty because she is beautiful on the inside and the outside!
SO SWEET!
What a cutie! And that seems like a GREAT response! Sounds like the Lord has already provided her with much strength and confidence - a blessing.
I think it would be great if your daughter simply share the truth. My one eyed formed a little differently but I can still see really well with the other one.
No other explanation needed.
I think that's all the information anyone really needs and is probably all any other child is looking for.
My girls are often curious about why someone is in a wheelchair or why someone is walking with a cane or why someone has some type of physical difference. They honestly are just curious.
They once commented to a little person at the mall that she was a mom but was the same size that they were -- and they were right. She was. I think they were all of about 3.5 at the time. Instead of responding with kindness or simply saying, "You're right. I'm a grown up but this is as tall as I'm ever going to get because I'm a little person," she nastily told them they shouldn't say things like that.
And of course, that's how God made me, is always a good answer!
Yes, beautiful for sure! I also have been trying to teach Maggie what to say when people ask about her scar, or about where she is from. She tells them that her heart was broken, but it was fixed in China and she will answer honestly that she was born in China and that Mommy came to get her. So far this is age appropriate and will expand as she gets older I am sure. I think that it is so healthy to help them have answers for these questions that they may have to endure all of their lives. I believe that a strong faith in God will also help them too. Happy Monday Jenn~
I think the "that's the way God made me" me answer is the best one. It leaves no room for argument.
Our kids have been asked why don't you look like your parents or like each other, and we've been asked by children and adults "why did you adopt from China?" Any other kind of answer leaves room to argue or debate, but if you can bring the reason back to God being in control of it all, any arguments die pretty quickly.
You are very smart to teach KM how to answer the question herself, but we have also found that a lot of kids don't notice our family's differences at all. They just take us for what we are and go along. But I do want our kiddos to be ready to answer the awkward questions for themselves when we are not around.
Great seeing you and KM today. We look forward to lots more fun play times together. Hugs, sm
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