How Sweet Is The Lord??

I apologize for taking sooooo long to post this.  Life is always crazy in the summer, but then throw in the referral of your daughter and.......  sigh  :o)

For those that are still waiting for your referral and asking God "When is it MY turn?" I want to encourage you and remind you how very good He is to us!!  His plan is THE perfect plan and He has your child already chosen for you!  Now, I know I'm going to need to continually be reminded of this as we wait for China to allow us to go and get her.  This part of the wait I'm sure will be the most difficult--and we've JUST begun!!  But I have to let you know what He has done and how He has confirmed over and over that Karleigh Mei Qian was chosen for us!!

My longing to adopt began when I was a child.  I have always known that I could love a child regardless if I gave birth to him/her. I always knew, that if the Lord was so good to allow me to adopt a child, that child would be mine! Early in my marriage, Karl and I talked about adopting one day. It was as natural as talking about having (birthing) another child.

In the fall of 2000/spring of 2001 I had decided, on my own, that it was "time". I did all of my research on adopting a child, domestically and internationally, and felt the Lord tugging on my heart to adopt from China. I became a member of different adopting yahoo groups and would read and read and READ about all of the different family stories. I was ready!! I went online and I found an agency in our area and looked up the dates for the seminars. I added them to my calendar and gave my husband the choices of the different dates. What I didn't know, was that I was really running far ahead of the Lord.  It was not in His plan for us to adopt then. My husband, who is an INCREDIBLE man, was in prayer and he clearly heard the Lord say, "Not now".

I was devastated. Crushed. Karl told me that he clearly heard from the Lord that we were not to adopt and that he wasn't sure if we were ever going to.  He promised me that he would stay in prayer over it. Meanwhile....I was left pleading with the Lord...."Please, Lord, TELL him we are supposed to adopt!!  Please, please!!". 

God was so good and kind to me and so gentle and loving. He told me that He loved my willingness to bring in another child, but that if it was HIS will that we adopt, He would let KARL know. He asked me to completely surrender my longing to adopt at His feet. He told me that I had to stay completely quiet on the subject. I couldn't even ask Karl if he was still praying over it. I wish I could say I obeyed Him and immediately did as He asked. I grieved over the loss of the child I longed to have. I had to lay down my own will and trust in God's will for my life. As the years past, my faith in God and my love for Him grew and I was finally beginning to trust that He did know what was best for my life and my family's lives. I reached the point that it was okay if I never did adopt, because I KNEW that the Lord was in control.

So fast forward to the fall of 2006.  Out of the blue (or seemingly to me!), Karl mentioned to me that he thought it was time for us to talk about adopting. You could have knocked me over with a feather!! I was shocked!! And all I could think was, "Lord...what do I say?! Is this you Father?!". I could sense the Lord smiling down on me and He whispered in my ear to still stay quiet. So I let Karl do the leading....and I began praying. :o) Adopting was back on the table and I wanted to ONLY do what the Lord wanted. It's no fun running ahead of the Lord, only to be told you've gone too far and you have to come back. During our Christmas dinner with just our little family, Karl told the children that we were thinking of adopting. I wish I could have had a camera to take a picture of my children's faces!!! Shock, excitement, happiness, wonder, love---all these things in their sweet faces!! I think we had some crying out of sheer happiness too! The Lord still was telling me to let Karl lead. And I gladly did!! 

At the end of Feb. 07, Karl called me and said he had just heard on the radio that America World Adoption Agency (AWAA)was going to be doing an adoption seminar the following night and would I want to go? Would I want to go!!!!???  YES!!! At that point I had never heard of AWAA, but I totally trusted the Lord and my husband. So off we went that following night. The whole time I was there I didn't really know what to think. At the seminar, we met two very sweet women who had adopted recently from China.  They gave out their adoption websites for those that wanted to look at them and be able to ask them any questions later.

On the way home from the seminar the Lord told me I could finally "speak".  Karl asked me what I was thinking and I told him that I was ready whenever he was. He said, "Okay....let's do it!!".  That weekend we filled out our application and submitted it to AWAA.  

So, how do I KNOW that this was all the Lord's most perfect timing and this child is the one I've been longing for and praying for for so many years??

~~~ When I learned of Karleigh Mei's age I couldn't believe it!! Those two sweet women (Cristie and Cindy) that I met at that seminar, who live in my area, have adopted girl's from China who are almost EXACTLY the same age as Karleigh Mei!!  Karleigh Mei is only ONE day older than one of them and 21 days older than the other one!!  In the same month!!  Also, in starting this blog I have met another precious family (Lisa) who live in our area and THEIR adopted daughter from China is the same age!!  

~~~ Karleigh Mei's birthday fits in PERFECTLY with the rest of our birthdays!  She will now begin "the beautiful holiday chaos" as we call it! Karleigh Mei's bithday is Nov. 2, Lexie's is Nov. 19, Katie's is Dec. 23, Garrison's is Jan. 4, Karl's is Jan. 12, mine (Jenn's) is Jan. 31 and then we have a bit of breather...and then Gannon's is March 15.  Wow...wears me out just thinking about it!!  :o)

~~~ The weekend after her referral came, we were at Karl's sister's house. Someone was on the computer and a Matthew West song came on (the ONLY Matthew West song that they have). I told them that I LOVED his "Happy" CD.  On our drive home from their house I decided I wanted to listen to that CD and we put it on. Immediately I was "taken back" to the time I was really listening to that CD. And I then remembered.  I was listening to that CD, while I was on my treadmill(great time to worship!!), at the time that I FULLY and FINALLY laid down adopting as MY will--and giving it completely to the Lord. There was one song in particular that really, REALLY spoke to me--and it helped me totally surrender to the Lord.  That song was "Out Of My Hands".  These are the lyrics:   (I especially loved the chorus---"It's out of my hands, It's out of my reach, It's over my head and it's out of my league, There's too many things that I just don't understand, So it's into your will and it's out of my hands.")

There you go changing my plans again 
There you go shifting my sands again 
For reasons I don't understand again 
Lately I don't have a clue 

Just when I start liking what I see 
There you go changing my scenery 
I never know where you're taking me 
But I'm trying just to follow you 

It's out of my hands 
It's out of my reach 
It's over my head 
And it's out of my league 
There's too many things 
That I don't understand 
So it's into your will 
And it's out of my hands 

There you go healing these scars again 
Showing me right where you are again 
I'm helpless, and that's where I start again 
I'm giving it all up to you 

It's out of my hands 
It's out of my reach 
It's over my head 
And it's out of my league 
There's too many things 
That I don't understand 
So it's into your will 
And it's out of my hands 

Move me, make me 
Choose me, change me 
Send me, shake me 
Find me, remind me 
The past is behind me 
Take it all away 
Take it all from me, I pray 

It's out of my hands 
It's out of my reach 
It's over my head 
And it's out of my league 
There's too many things 
That I don't understand 
So it's into your will 
And it's out of my hands

While listening to this song again after all of those years...the Lord told me that it was during this time--that I finally gave it to Him, that He was forming my precious and darling Karleigh Mei in her mother's womb.  Wow!!!!!!!!  U-N-B-E-L-I-E-V-A-B-L-E.......but SOOOOOOOO God!!!!

~~~ While we were still at Karl's sister's house, we were all (and they have 8 beautiful children so that is a lot of us!!!) at the dinner table. Karl had bought as a treat for the kids, some "Jones Sodas". Someone had noticed that under the bottle cap were fortunes.  The kids all started reading theirs...and there was laughter and fun. It was then that I wondered what MINE said. I read mine.....and I was completely BLOWN off of my feet.  Mine said, "You just helped save a child's eyesight. Thank you."  I knew immediately that the Lord had give this very small confirmation that Karleigh Mei was ours. You see, Karleigh Mei's special need is eye damage in her right eye.  

~~~ Her Chinese name "Qian" means pretty.  We have chosen "Mei" which means beautiful!

~~~ In her referral picture she is wearing pink and green.  These are the colors we will be doing her room in!!  :o)

I'm going to bet I'm forgetting some other "confirmations" and when I remember them I will add them later. I am still learning more and more how "in control" the Lord is and I love it!!

Father God, you are so incredible to me.  I am in constant amazement at how faithful you are to me. I know that Karleigh Mei is the child I have longed for for so long. I also know that you planted that seed in my heart so many years ago. I will continue to trust in you.  Please help me not to run ahead of you and keep me covered behind you. It's the only place I want to be.